Grandmother; understand the gay teen

It is imperative in modern society to teach our children about alternative sexual orientations and tolerance of those differences.

Gay teens are one of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable groups in society, facing the pressure and dangers of gay bashing’ and other forms of homophobic bullying. There is a threefold likelihood of lesbian or gay teens being bullied than other youth.

These pressures in turn lead to a higher incidence of social isolation, alcohol and drug abuse, family problems, and low self esteem than their peers.

There is a relatively common belief that someone who is gay must have suffered some sexual trauma or has been influenced to make this decision by a gay adult. This is a myth as neither of these things influences sexuality.

Talking to parents about their sexuality can sometimes be difficult, if not seemingly impossible. In some situations, these youth run away from home because they feel that they cannot deal with the reaction of their parents.

There are also many gay teens that are forced out of their homes by parents who are unable to deal with their teen’s sexuality. This resistance may be particularly high in parents who have been raised with the conviction that homosexuality is always wrong.

Often, the teen is already having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he or she is homosexual and is already fearful of peoples’ intolerance of them. The ultimate rejection by their parents on the basis of gender issues leaves the person feeling totally confused and isolated.

The incidence of suicide among gay teens is around three times that of their heterosexual counterparts though sexuality and gender issues are not in themselves, seen as a risk factor for suicide. However, the feelings of isolation and of being different can drive many to suicidal behaviour.

Perhaps the difference in acceptance of homosexuals could begin in what we teach children in earlier years. After all, bigotry is something that is learned from a young age.

When discussing sexuality with your children, explain that homosexuals have no choice and that they need to be respected as people just as anyone else does.

Becoming a teenager is a huge milestone for both teenagers and parents and it is particularly so when the teenager is gay. As parents, it is important to reassure the teenager that being gay really is okay and that, regardless of their sexual identity, you love them anyway.

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"Kicked out" a call for submissions

Kicked Out is an anthology, which chronicles the experiences of former queer youth and current queer youth who were forced to leave home as minors because of their sexuality and/or gender identity.

Kicked Out tells our collective stories of survival, weaving together descriptions of abuse, and homelessness with poignant accounts of the ways in which the queer community offered sanctuary, and the power and importance of creating our own chosen families etc.

Kicked Out offers advice and wisdom to the queer youth of today from former queer youth who have survived. Additionally, it provides the opportunity for readers to get a glimpse into the world of those queer youth who as a result of circumstance have had to leave home, while simultaneously shattering the stereotypes of who queer youth are, and what they have the potential to become.

Kicked Out showcases stories of overcoming obstacles, and not simply surviving but thriving in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity. Kicked Out will explore the diversity of our experiences across lines of race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, and geographic region celebrating our differences, and showcases the ways in which they have contributed to our unique experiences.

Possible topics include but are not limited to:
• How being forced to leave home as a minor continues to impact your adult life
• What happened to you when you left home and how you survived
• Words of wisdom for today’s homeless queer youth—what you wished someone had told you
• Survival through the creation of “chosen family”
• Challenges of dealing with CPS or other agencies
• Success through adversity- overcoming a troubled past

Submissions should be between 1,500 and 2,500 words in length and previously unpublished. Submit your piece via e-mail in .doc format to KickedOutAnthology@gmail.com. Multiple submissions per contributor are welcome. Please include a short biography and contact information with your submission. Submissions must be received no later than March 1, 2008; contributors are encouraged to submit early. Rights revert to the authors upon publication. Contributors whose work appears in the anthology will receive TBA free copy(ies) as well as ongoing royalties. for more information check us out online at: www.myspace.com/kickedoutanthology

**Sassafras Lowrey is a high femme writer, artist, and activist. Ze was forced to leave home as a teenager after suffering physical violence after coming out as queer. Sassafras found hir way to queer youth organizations and movements, which quite literally saved hir life. As an adult ze has never forgotten the impact those groups had on hir life and has volunteered regularly with the queer youth of today. Sassafras lives with hir partner, two cats and a dog in New York City. Hir first book “GSA to Marriage: Stories of a Life Lived Queerly” is scheduled for release Summer 2008.

Never in the Closet

by Albert Mohler

The pace of moral change is now accelerated to the point that it is clearly visible and undeniable.

Evidence for this is found in a recent article published in The Boston Globe Magazine. Entitled, "Easy Out," the article makes the case that today's gay teenagers in Massachusetts find leaving the "closet" very easy -- because they never thought themselves to be closeted as homosexual in the first place.

One day Peck heard several female friends giggling over an attractive older
boy, and the next thing he knew, he had joined the conversation. "The girls were
talking about how cute he was. I said something like 'Yeah, he is so cute,'"
Peck remembers. "It just kind of came out, and I was really startled by it." But
his friends were neither startled nor uncomfortable. "They didn't miss a beat,"
says Peck, now 19 and a freshman at New York University. "They totally accepted
me."

Emboldened by his friends' casual reaction, Peck, a slim young man with
curly brown hair, told his parents that he was gay. He was only 15. Their
response was equally positive and accepting. His mother, Nancy Peck, who lives
in Concord, says her only concern was making sure that Russell was "safe, happy,
and healthy." Her son shared his news with friends at Concord-Carlisle that
fall, joined Spectrum - a school-based discussion club about gay and lesbian
issues - and continued, he says, to feel "very comfortable" during his remaining
three years of high school.

full story

Growing up gay

Not one kid in my entire high school ever openly identified as being gay while I was a student there. This isn’t to say that all 500 of us were straight. Obviously, nobody felt comfortable coming out while they were still living in their parents’ house and confined to those gossip-filled beige hallways.

This may partially explain why I didn’t really have any gay friends until college.

Sixteen is now the national average for the age at which someone announces his or her homosexuality; people in the 1970s waited until they were 21.

Whenever people argue that gay couples shouldn’t get married, I think back to the night of May 16, 2004. I was living in Cambridge, Massachusetts and walked over to City Hall just before midnight to join the crowd celebrating the first ever same-sex marriage in the United States. Watching people dancing in the streets, embracing one another, it was clear that I was witnessing a historical moment. The actual granting of civil rights was happening right before my eyes.

Do you know what happened the next day? The sun rose. Traffic buzzed. Society did not fall apart.

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Health Tips for GLBT youth

AlDatingNews.com reports

Staying healthy isn't just about eating a balanced diet and getting eight hours
of sleep a night. Your health is made up of a variety of emotional and physical
components. Sometimes this is called a holistic view of health. Here are five
health tips for GLBT teens that are just as important as laying off the
trans-fats and ditching the cigarettes.

The article list contains the top 5 tips: Find a GLBT friendly doctor, Have a good support network, Practice safer sex, Keep substance use in check and Accept yourself

http://www.aldatingnews.com/gay79.htm

By Mom: sons' coming out story

It started the day my son, Ben, had a hickey on his neck. Having a fairly close relationship with Ben, I asked him about it. First of all, like most 17-year-olds, he denied it was a hickey. I quickly grounded him in reality, stating that I most certainly knew what a hickey looked like. He was flustered but also pleased to be sporting this huge purple blotch on his neck.

http://gaylife.about.com/od/comingoutstories/a/momson.htm

HISTORY: Randolfe “Randy” Wicker

by Randolfe “Randy” Wicker

As a teenager during the 1950s, I knew I was homosexual.

In the 1950s, newspapers and magazines only covered homosexual scandals: Child killers, Leopold and Loeb; Burgess and McLean, British spies who’d defected to the Soviet Union; Sen. Joseph McCarthy’s “hunt” for homosexuals working for the government; police round-ups of “perverts,” usually featuring photos of drag queens, make-up askew, sitting in a paddy wagon.

I had no problem accepting my homosexuality. I only feared discovery. As a college freshman, I kept a diary that detailed the crush I’d developed on a fellow student. My father found my diary and read it. Fortunately, the psychiatrist he consulted advised him that I’d always be homosexual.

“It’s your life to live,” he surmised. “I don’t think you are going to get very far with this. I ask just one thing: that you not involve my good name.

“I’ve lived the American dream,” I declared. “In my lifetime, homosexuals have gone from being criminals to being a legitimate minority group. We may not have ‘full equality’ yet, but we’re slowly getting there.

Matthew's mother invites you to Matthew's Place

Judy Shepard (Matthew Shepard's mother) has opened a new website for LGBTQ youth. It's a comprehensive online resource for LGBTQ youth in America.

www.MatthewsPlace.com was launched on Friday, October 12, 2007, the ninth anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s passing, with a series of local events throughout the country and an online video stream featuring Judy Shepard, executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Mistreatment, violence, and harassment of LGBT young people is a pervasive problem. According to GLSEN’s National School Climate Survey in 2005, nearly two-thirds of LGBT young people felt unsafe in school and over one-third had been physically harassed because of their sexual orientation. And for too many youth the home is not much safer or more welcoming. Some studies estimate that as many as half of LGBT teens experience negative reactions from their parents upon coming out, and nearly one-third have suffered physical violence by a family member.