Teachers speak: "Our fears for gay students"

By Matt Akersten
GayNZ.com

"A 14-year-old came to see me the other day, saying 'guys always say that I'm gay.

They cover up when we're in the changing room, and they say 'here comes this poofter!'"

I said: "Well, it doesn't matter whether you're gay or not, you don't find that acceptable."

He said: "No I don't, it makes me want to cry."

-recounted by an Auckland high school teacher

In numbers that would have been unimaginable a few years ago, LGBT students at high schools across New Zealand are coming out. Some are well supported by teachers and guidance councilors. Some become mentors and role models for younger students. But we also hear from many others who are right now counting down the days until they can leave behind the torment of their daily high school hell.

"Being out in most schools in New Zealand would still be quite rough," a young openly-gay teacher at a central Auckland school tells us. Although open about his sexuality he is reluctant to have his name used online in this article. We'll call him Craig.

"Most of the ones who are out at my school have a good support group around them. There's a bit of bullying around, but I think we only see the tip of the iceberg," says Craig. "Kids are good at hiding if they're being bullied, or if they are doing the bullying."

A more senior gay teacher in rural Hawkes Bay, we'll call him Michael, says his remote school is quite unique: "We have so many gay students at school. I've never worked anywhere where there are so many. It's amazing, really. They're tied into the family network, and treated as if they're part of the scenery, really."

Mention the use of the word 'gay' by young people to mean 'stupid' or 'naff' and our teachers react instantly. "It's used all the time." "It's used constantly." "You hear it every lesson." "It's everywhere!"

Bartlett believes in always dealing to the problem wherever and whenever it occurs. "You wouldn't dream of saying 'that's so Maori' or 'that's so Samoan' or ‘that's so Christian'," she challenges the perpetrators, "so why would you say 'that's so gay'? It's a direct insult. You're insulting me, and you're insulting my friends. And I'm not willing for you to disparage me like that." She says her unwillingness to let the slur pass unchallenged is having results at her school. "It's got to the point that when someone uses it, someone else will quickly say 'you can't say that in here!'"

full article

Settlement Protects Students from Anti-Gay Harassment

The ACLU-NC reached a settlement with a Lake County school district that contains a series of steps the district will undertake to protect students from anti-gay harassment and discrimination. The agreement is on behalf of a student who was persistently subjected to verbal taunting and physical abuse based on his sexual orientation.

The ACLU-NC sought this settlement, reached without a lawsuit with the Upper Lake Union Elementary School District, in light of federal and state laws that allow for school administrators to be held liable if they fail to take adequate measures to remedy anti-LGBT harassment and discrimination.

The years of harassment culminated in the student, Robby, being attacked by a group of boys in the school locker room after gym class. The boys knocked Robby to the ground and kicked him in the stomach, head, and sides while screaming “fag” and “queer” at him. Believing that the district was not going to independently take the appropriate steps to respond and protect Robby, his parents contacted the ACLU.

The settlement agreement contains a series of proactive steps that the Upper Lake school district will take to create a safe learning environment for all students and to educate students and staff about preventing harassment and discrimination at school. The district also now has adopted clear policies prohibiting harassment and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, as required by California law.

ACLU Northern California

Negative press distorts true support for anti-bullying program

by Andy Birkey
Minnesota Independent

Shannon Drury is just one of many parents who, despite negative publicity, are indeed thrilled that three Minneapolis schools are being considered for the controversial Welcoming Schools pilot project.

But a handful of parents who did not want their kids taught about family diversity, mainly because in their eyes it would teach about sex (it doesn’t), were set to derail the guide. “Unfortunately, I did hear through the Hale grapevine that there were a number of very angry parents and community members who were planning on being present at the March meeting, so I decided to go,” Drury said. “When I mentioned the meeting to my family, my son Elliott insisted that he be allowed to attend with me.

According to national survey of students by the National Mental Health Association, 78 percent of kids have witnessed anti-gay harassment, 93 percent report hearing “fag” and “queer” used in a derogatory way, and 51 percent reported hearing anti-gay slurs on a daily basis. Brancale says around half of bullying reports at Hale involve anti-gay slurs.

“My son spoke out on behalf of his close friends, saying, ‘Two moms, two dads, it doesn’t matter.’ He got a huge round of applause,” said Drury.

The Drurys are close friends with a lesbian couple that has three kids, including one Elliot’s age. “When my son realized that his buddy’s family was different, his only problem was jealousy — his buddy had two moms while he had only one! What a ripoff!” said Drury. “This just reinforced my instinct that children are born without prejudice. They learn fear and distrust from the grown-ups around them.”

full article

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me

460,000 results came up on my Google search.

Who knew there were so many variations?

The Phrase Finder site says:

"STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS (NAMES) WILL NEVER HURT ME. - Although a physical attack may harm me, I am not bothered by cruel words or name-calling. I don't care what you're saying. This children's taunt was first listed in 'Folk Phrases of Four Counties' (1894) by G.F. Northall and is first attested in the United States in 'Miss Lindsey' (1936) by S.G. Gibbons. The proverb is found in varying forms: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but hard words cannot hurt me; Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me; Sticks and stones will break my bones, but lies will never hurt me." From "Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings" (1996) by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996).

Many of the search results talked about bullying. The Children Today article, titled “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones -- And Words Can Hurt, Too” represented 18-year-old Heather.

"I was bullied," says Heather from Texas. "Even after 18 years, I can tell you her name, describe what she looked like, show you where she lived and tell you all the horrible things she did to me -- in detail. She ruined all my memories of fifth and sixth grade. Those two years will always be remembered as the time that Christie tortured me."

Here’s a couple other titles:

Sticks 'n stones may break my bones, but words hurt, too

Sticks An Stones Can Break My Bones BUT Words Hurt Forever (YouTube Video)

I rejoiced when I saw this article:

Sticks & Stones Can Break My Bones But Names Can Really Hurt Me!

The overall tone of the article is; not only do you harm others but also bring harm to you.

Granted, it would be a better world if we could all ignore hateful comments.

But a world without the hateful comments is far more desirable.